你有没有这样的时候:遇到了一件事,会想,这个我可能不行吧,这个我做不了,这个还是让给比我更强的人来做吧,还是多听听别人怎么说吧。看似谦虚,其实是不自信呢。想要改变这种情况?一起来看看帮助你提升个人自信的25种杀手锏吧。
    Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit. - E.E. Cummings
    一旦我们相信自己,我们产生好奇、惊讶、由衷的快乐或者其它一些能够显现出人类精神的状态。--爱德华·埃斯特林·卡明斯
    One of the things that held me back from pursuing my dreams for many years was fear of failure … and the lack of self-confidence that I needed to overcome that fear.
    许多年来,让我不敢去追求梦想的是害怕失败……和没有克服那种恐惧的自信。
    It's something we all face, to some degree, I think. The key question: how do you overcome that fear?
    某种程度上讲,我想这是很多人都面临的问题。关键问题是:如何去克服那种恐惧呢?
    By working on your self-confidence and self-esteem. Without really thinking of it in those terms, that's what I've been doing over the years, and that's what helped me finally overcome my fears, and finally pursue my dreams.
    那就不断增强你的自信和自尊吧。虽然没有真正是从这个层面去考虑,这却是我一直努力去实现的,也正是这些让我最终能够克服恐惧去追逐梦想。
    I still have those fears, undoubtedly. But now I know that I can beat them, that I can break through that wall of fear and come out on the other side. I've done it many times now, and that success will fuel further success.
    毫无疑问,我还有这些恐惧,只是现在我知道我能够战胜它们,知道我可能打破恐惧这堵墙,并超越它。我已经战胜恐惧很多次了,那种胜利感可以为进一步的胜利提供能量。
    This post was inspired by reader Nick from Finland, who asked for an article about self-worth and self-confidence:
    我写这篇文章的原因是芬兰的一位读者Nick向我要一篇关于自尊和自信的文章。
    Many of the things you propose make people feel better about themselves and actually help building self-confidence. However, I would be interested on reading your input in general on this topic. Taking time out for your own plans and dreams, doing things another way than most other people and generally not necessarily "fitting in" can be quite hard with a low self-confidence.
    人们所提倡许多事情可能让他们自我感觉良好,事实上也可能帮助建立自信。然而,我感兴趣的是你们关于这个话题的一般想法。对于缺乏自信的人来说,放弃工作去实现自己的计划和梦想,或者会采用异于常人的方法来完成一件事情,都是很困难的。
    Truer words have never been spoken. It's near impossible to make time for your dreams, to break free from the traditional mold, and to truly be yourself, if you have low self-esteem and self-confidence.
    真相从来都不会被说出来的。如果没有什么自尊和自信的话,你几乎不可能会有时间去追求自己的梦想,不可能去打破常规,也不可能做真正的自己。
    As an aside, I know that some people make a strong distinction between self-esteem and self-confidence. In this article, I use them interchangeably, even if there is a subtle but perhaps important difference … the difference being whether you believe you're worthy of respect from others (self-esteem) and whether you believe in yourself (self-confidence). In the end, both amount to the same thing, and in the end, the actions I mention below give a boost to both
    self-esteem and self-confidence.
    另外,我知道有些人会把自尊和自信很清楚的分开来,但是在这篇文章里它们是相通的,虽然我知道它们有细微但重要的区别…区别在于你是否相信自己值得别人尊重(自尊)和是否相信你自己(自信)。自尊和自信都将最终等同于同一样事物。最后,我所介绍的以下方法都能使你增加自尊和自信。
    Taking control of your self-confidence
    掌控你的自信
    If you are low in self-confidence, is it possible to do things that will change that? Is your self-confidence in your control?
    如果你缺乏自信,是否有可能做些事情改变这种情况呢?你能掌控你的自信吗?
    While it may not seem so, if you are low in self-confidence, I strongly believe that you can do things to increase your self-confidence. It is not genetic, and you do not have to be reliant on others to increase your self-confidence. And if you believe that you are not very competent, not very smart, not very attractive, etc. … that can be changed.
    如果你缺乏自信,我非常相信你能够做一些事情来增加你的自信,虽然表面看上去可能不是这样的。自信不是遗传的,你不必依赖别来增加你的自信。如果你觉得自己不够能干,不够聪明,不够有魅力……这些都是可能改变的。
    You can become someone worthy of respect, and someone who can pursue what he wants despite the naysaying of others.
    你可以成为一个值得尊敬的人,一个能追求自己梦想的人,即便有别人否定你。
    You can do this by taking control of your life, and taking control of your self-confidence. By taking concrete actions that improve your competence, your self-image, you can increase that self-confidence, without the help of anyone else.
    你能够通过掌控自己的生活,掌控自信来做来这一点。通过采取具体的行动来增强你的能力,改善你的自我形象,你自己能够增加你的自信,而不需要别人的帮助。
    Below, I outline 25 things that will help you do that. None of them is revolutionary, none of them will do it all by themselves. The list certainly isn't comprehensive. These are just some of my favorite things, stuff that's worked for me.
    以下,我列举了25条方法来帮助你增加自信。它们中没有一条是全新的,也没有一条会自己自动完全。这条清单当然也不是很全面的,仅仅是我最喜欢的、对我有用的一些方法。
    And you don't need to do all of them, as if this were a recipe … pick and choose those that appeal to you, maybe just a couple at first, and give them a try. If they work, try others. If they don't, try others.
     你也不用做到所有的条款,你将它作为一个配方…挑选那些吸引你的,或许只有几条,然后试一试。如果它们对你有效,就再试试其它的。如果那几条对你没有用,也再试试其它的方法。
    Here they are, in no particular order:
    以下这些就是,它们并没有进行特别的排列:
    1. Groom yourself. 装扮自己。
    This seems like such an obvious one, but it's amazing how much of a difference a shower and a shave can make in your feelings of self-confidence and for your self-image. There have been days when I turned my mood around completely with this one little thing.
    这似乎看上去显而易见了,但洗澡或是剃胡须后给你自我感觉上带来的自信和自我形象上的改进却是很神奇的。一直以来,你就是通过这样一件小小的事情来彻底的改变自己的情绪。
    2. Dress nicely. 穿戴好些。
    A corollary of the first item above … if you dress nicely, you'll feel good about yourself. You'll feel successful and presentable and ready to tackle the world. Now, dressing nicely means something different for everyone … it doesn't necessarily mean weang and presentable.
    这是上面一条必然产生的结果……如果你穿戴好些,你的自我感觉会很好,你会觉得自己很成功,很得体,已经准备好来应对这个世界。这里,穿戴好对于每个人来说是不一样的…你不必穿500美元一套的衣服,但可以穿很好看也很得体的休闲服饰。
    3. Photoshop your self-image. 修改你的自我形象。
    Our self-image means so much to us, more than we often realize. We have a mental picture of ourselves, and it determines how confident we are in ourselves. But this picture isn't fixed and immutable. You can change it. Use your mental Photoshopping skills, and work on your self-image. If it's not a very good one, change it. Figure out why you see yourself that way, and find a way to fix it.
    自我形象对于我们来说意义重大,比我们认为的重要得多。我们在脑海里都有一个自我形象,它决定了我们自信的程度。但这个形象不是固定改变的,你可以改变它的。多使用你的脑海中的图像修改功能,用在你的自我形象上。如果你脑海中的自我形象不是很好,就修改一下吧。找到为什么你那样看待自己,并找个方法解决它。
    4. Think positive. 积极思考。
    One of the things I learned when I started running, about two years ago, what how to replace negative thoughts (see next item) with positive ones. How I can actually change my thoughts, and by doing so make great things happened. With this tiny little skill, I was able to train for and run a marathon within a year. It sounds so trite, so Norman Vincent Peale, but my goodness this works. Seriously. Try it if you haven't.
    二年前,当我学习跑步时,我学到的一件事情是如何用积极的想法来取代消极的想法(见下一条)。如何通过这样改变自己的想法来使好的事情发生。就是使用这样一个小小的技艺,我在不到一年训练后就能跑马拉松。这听起来是如此陈腐,和诺曼.文森特.皮尔一样。但谢天谢地它很有效。真的,如果你还没有试过的话,不妨试一试。
    5. Kill negative thoughts. 去除消极的想法。
    Goes hand-in-hand with the above item, but it's so important that I made it a separate item. You have to learn to be aware of your self-talk, the thoughts you have about yourself and what you're doing. When I was running, sometimes my mind would start to say, "This is too hard. I want to stop and go watch TV." Well, I soon learned to recognize this negative self-talk, and soon I learned a trick that changed everything in my life: I would imagine that a negative thought was a bug, and I would vigilantly be on the lookout for these bugs. When I caught one, I would stomp on it (mentally of course) and squash it. Kill it dead. Then replace it with a positive one. ("C'mon, I can do this! Only one mile left!")
    这一条与上一条是连在一起的,但因为它如此重要,我把它作为单独一项列出来。你必须清楚自己内心的想法,清楚你自己是谁和你在干什么。当我在跑步里,有时我脑海里开始讲:"这太难了,我想停下来,去看电视。"当然,我很快就学会分辨这种内心消极的想法,并学会那个可以改变生活中一切的小窍门:我会想象消极的想法就是一个小臭虫,我会非常警惕的搜查这引起小臭虫。当我抓住一个,我就狠狠跺几脚(当然指精神上的),然后捏碎,杀死它。然后用积极的想法取代它。("加油,我可能做到的,不过只剩一里而已")
    Know yourself and you will win all battles. - Sun Tzu
    知己知彼,百战不殆。-孙子
    6. Get to know yourself. 了解你自己。
    When going into battle, the wisest general learns to know his enemy very, very well. You can't defeat the enemy without knowing him. And when you're trying to overcome a negative self-image and replace it with self-confidence, your enemy is yourself. Get to know yourself well. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about yourself, and about the thoughts you have about yourself, and analyzing
    上一
    ring a $500 outfit, but could mean casual clothes that are nice looki
    why you have such negative thoughts. And then think about the good things about yourself, the things you can do well, the things you like. Start thinking about your limitations, and whether they're real limitations or just ones you've allowed to be placed there, artificially. Dig deep within yourself, and you'll come out (eventually) with even greater self-confidence.
    在要打仗前,最聪明的将军会将敌人了解得一清二楚。如果你不了解你的敌人,你是无法战胜它的。当你试图战胜消极的个人形象,变得自信些话,你的敌人就是你自己。好好了解你知道,开始聆听你的想法,开始编写关于自己和自己想法的日志,分析你产生这些消极的想法。然后想想关于自己的好的方面,那些你可以做得很好的并且喜欢的事情。开始想想什么你的局限性,并弄清楚是否是真的局限了你,还仅仅是你允许摆放在那里虚假障碍。深深的挖掘自己的想法,最终你会更加自信。
    7. Act positive. 积极行动。
    More than just thinking positive, you have to put it into action. Action, actually, is the key to developing self-confidence. It's one thing to learn to think positive, but when you start acting on it, you change yourself, one action at a time. You are what you do, and so if you change what you do, you change what you are. Act in a positive way, take action instead of telling yourself you can't, be positive. Talk to people in a positive way, put energy into your actions. You'll soon start to notice a difference.
    除了要积极思考,你还要付诸行动,事实上,这是发展个人自信的关键。积极思考是一回事,当你开始行动时,你又改变了,所以一次做好一件事情。你所做事情决定了你,当你改变你所做时,你就改变了你自己。用积极方式行动,采取措施而不是仅仅告诉自己你不行,积极一些。用积极的方式与人交谈,精力充沛的行动。要不了多久,你就会发现自己的改变。
    8. Be kind and generous. 友好且慷慨。
    Oh, so corny. If this is too corny for you, move on. But for the rest of you, know that being kind to others, and generous with yourself and your time and what you have, is a tremendous way to improve your self-image. You act in accordance with the Golden Rule, and you start to feel good about yourself, and to think that you are a good person. It does wonders for your self-confidence, believe me.
    噢,太老土了。如果这对你来说太老土的话,继续前进。但你应该知道,对别人友好,慷慨于你自己、你的时间和你所拥有的,是改善你自我形象的非常好的方法。你遵从黄金准则行事,你将自我感觉良好,认为自己是个很好的人。相信我,它会对你的自信产生奇迹般的效果的。
    One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation. - Arthur Ashe
    成功的关键是自信,自信的关键是有所准备。--阿瑟·阿什
    9. Get prepared. 时刻准备好。
    It's hard to be confident in yourself if you don't think you'll do well at something. Beat that feeling by preparing yourself as much as possible. Think about taking an exam: if you haven't studied, you won't have much confidence in your abilities to do well on the exam. But if you studied your butt off, you're prepared, and you'll be much more confident. Now think of life as your exam, and prepare yourself.
     如果你不知道你会做好某件事,那么自信会很困难。尽可能把自己准备好,来击退不自信的想法。想想正在考试:如果你没有学习,你会不相信自己有能力考好试。但如果你学好了,准备好了,你就会有信心多了。现在,你把生命当作考试,准备好你自己。