英国伯恩茅斯留学社区
Bournemouth Chinese
个人简历指导
lence(2009/1/30 1:10:01) 点击:48003 回复:0 IP:212.* * *
lence(2009/1/30 1:10:01) 点击:48003 回复:0 IP:212.* * *
由于最近很多朋友找我提一些写Personal Statement 的意见,我觉得干脆把我重复一遍又一遍的所谓绝招写出来,希望大家能受益. (我自己当年的UCAS 报了Imperial College, UCL, Durham, King’s College, Warwick 和 一所太SB学校, 我自己都不记得了.在很短时间内就拿到了所有offer,我现在学的是计算机)
首先,在写PS以前请一定要确定自己的学科,一石几鸟的PS只会让Admission Tutor 觉得你自己都不知道为什么或没有决心立志学好报的那科.所以,请你PS上一定有一个固定学科,或最少,相似的学科.不要为了上自己的梦想大学,这个大学报这科,那个大学报那科.这也是中国人的趋势,为了上好大学,而不是主攻一门感兴趣的学科.
第二, 在确定自己的学科前提下,请你找几份历届同科的PS,为了比较和鉴别,请你最少得找出三份. 你可能看不出一个固定模式,但你应该体会到学好这科的基本素质,比方说这领域的书籍,或工作经验.如果有,占多少份量. 换句话说,一篇标准的PS会包括一下几点:
1) 学科的大概阐述
2) 自己对学科的着迷程度及为什么着迷
3) 相关基础知识及工作经验
4) 自己的其他生活情趣
在认识到这个模式的基础下,咱们在作进一步分析.
什么是一份出色的PS?
答案是一份与众不同的.
如何与众不同?
答案是在不越轨的前提下,把别人写的最多的地方减少字数并精炼化,在别人提的相对少的地方加强语气. 再具体地说就是咬文嚼字. 在单词上花功夫.
(我的词汇量实在有限,那两天查字典的次数顶我这几年学英语总和的n倍,并且n是正整数.)
现在我们开始落实地分析一下现状: 如果你的英文是IELTS 8 分以下,请你别用过分NB单词和句子,因为这样Admission Tutor 会觉得你太夸张了,英国人喜欢诚实. 再说,如果你有Interview,前后者太不相称会很不利的. 由于我没达到8分, 我就把自己的PS拿出来分析研究. 太多人喜欢用 fascinating 这词来形容自己对学科的兴趣,这也是我们的优势. 如果你换个词,你就在有意无意中开始与众不同了.
QUOTE:
Computing has been a large part of my life, and in some ways has shaped the person that I am
today. Throughout my childhood I was immersed in technology and software, and as a result I
gained a great deal of knowledge and an insight into how computer systems work. My early
enthusiasm has not dwindled, and I continue to make discoveries every day. I wish to study
Computing further because I realise that I have only just begun to scratch the surface of
this vast and exciting field.
这是我的开头,比较朴实无华,但又有几个词点缀一下,因此在感情上没有比用了那些华丽组句占下风.
第三,我们在中国受了多年教育,在语言和全面性上略占下风. 然而,我们却可以利用这点创造更多优势,让我们更加与众不同. 在我作分析前,请仔细体会一下我的描写风格.
QUOTE:
Having lived in China for fifteen years, I witnessed the substantial rise in importance in computing, and it didn’t take me long to realise that the British Universities are among the world’s top computer science institutions. As soon as I completed the secondary education in China I moved to the UK with one goal in mind, be a top computer engineer. Due to the natural difference between Chinese and English the language barrier had been the most difficult obstacle during my first year in the country and therefore,[b:7011c20595] I put a huge amount of effort into improving my command of English and achieved a band score of 8 in the speaking test of IELTS. I decided to take Maths, Further Maths, Computer Science and Economics at A-Level because I was convinced that while Computing is a maths oriented subject Economics study would broaden my horizon.
别人知道中国人数学NB,所以在这里再次强调一下,把自己在花英语的时间上在夸张一下,这样能为你没考好的学科做间接解释以及对终考差一点分的可能性做准备,因为如果不差太远,大学会再次审阅你的PS. 由于中国的发展变化,不管你学什么科,都可以把中西方差别提出来,一是为了表明你学这科为了提高中国的不足,用事实明确了选科的理由,而不是一而再,再而三的费话.二是为了表名你知道自己将来想做什么,有战略目标. 因而不管你学什么科,一定得利用这个条件发挥想象力!
第四,在描述自己工作经验时,别说一些无法证实的事,多写一点能够拿出证据的.别多扯自己干了多少,把结果写出来,让老师看的心服口服.如果没有,找国内现在就弄份去.但记住,自己一定得精通所提到的.这又是优势,中国弄份奖状等等相对简单的多.还有,一定还得在英国也得有点真本事.
如果你觉得这部分实在没东西写,那就在自己对学科的决心上大做文章,英国人欣赏那份精神.
QUOTE:
My personal journey, beginning with simply clicking on a link on webpage, though becoming an
administrator, to designing both commercial and non-commercial websites, is the achievement I
am most proud of, in particular considering the limited time I have had available. My
personal website clarkzhang.tk was created in both plain text and animated versions, and
received a gold award from goldenwebawards.
At school I participated in activities including sports day, canoeing club and millennium
volunteers' projects in which I helped organising the school's parents evenings and many
other major events. Academically I was awarded with a Mathematics Merit certificate the year
after I arrived in the UK. In 2003, I took part of the Model United Nation debate held in
LSE, and with a limited command of English I represented Botswana and spoke out for the
country in terms of economical development issues in Africa on many occasions.
Outside school I have taught myself the infrastructure of Windows Server 2003 Operating
System, and am now proficient at implementing and troubleshooting any small server-based
network. After some intensive study during this summer vocation, I am ready to take my
Microsoft Certified System Engineer exams before the end of my A levels.
My experience with computers was further enhanced when I joined UK's largest wire accessories
firms (EASE Limited) as Network Administrator Assistant for their European HQ. This meant
responsibility for a company with over 20 customers across UK, France, Germany, Finland,
Italy and Poland, and 18 office staff. In a very competitive field, I managed to get the
company's main products constantly listed in the top 10 positions on google.com by raising
its website traffic from 8000 to nearly 10000 hits per month, which naturally increased the
annual online sales considerably.
我把工作经验和实践精简了再精简.大家体会一下.总之,简练可信第一,Admission Tutor一天要看很多篇,当他看见类似文章时,就会一带而过,写了也白写.换种手法会赢得截然不同的效果-写结果,要给上级作报告,而不是一份推荐信.
第五,结尾来个画龙点睛.博得Admission Tutor再次欢心.把英国学俯夸奖一便.一般检阅PS的人都有一定资格,也就是说他们年龄对自己英国国家文化有一定虚荣心,再加上美国近几年把英国甩在后面,你把大学再抬高一点,也表示你为什么来英国读书的原因.你在Interview上也有话可说.
QUOTE:
It is my belief that the experiences I have had in both countries would enable me to achieve my goal at a more realistic manner studying at a world’s top institution.
我写的这话和前面and it didn’t take me long to realise that the British Universities are among the world’s top computer science institutions.有前后相应的. 值得一提的是,别以第一人称I开头那样主观感太强.
最后,在开始写时,你应该写得很多,然后再缩短和提炼.别省了前者. 写完了后,给几个英国同学检查语法,再给几个老师修改.在有意见冲突时,取其中间量.当给5人以上修改过后,自己平衡一下.再给几为不认识的中年人看一边,如果你取了几个老师学生的中间量,你会发现后面几人对你的PS得以充分肯定. 你也许是为很自信的人,也许是位成绩很好的同学,但是,请你在这次,听一下大众意见.因为我认识不少考了AAAA连offer都没拿到的人.
首先,在写PS以前请一定要确定自己的学科,一石几鸟的PS只会让Admission Tutor 觉得你自己都不知道为什么或没有决心立志学好报的那科.所以,请你PS上一定有一个固定学科,或最少,相似的学科.不要为了上自己的梦想大学,这个大学报这科,那个大学报那科.这也是中国人的趋势,为了上好大学,而不是主攻一门感兴趣的学科.
第二, 在确定自己的学科前提下,请你找几份历届同科的PS,为了比较和鉴别,请你最少得找出三份. 你可能看不出一个固定模式,但你应该体会到学好这科的基本素质,比方说这领域的书籍,或工作经验.如果有,占多少份量. 换句话说,一篇标准的PS会包括一下几点:
1) 学科的大概阐述
2) 自己对学科的着迷程度及为什么着迷
3) 相关基础知识及工作经验
4) 自己的其他生活情趣
在认识到这个模式的基础下,咱们在作进一步分析.
什么是一份出色的PS?
答案是一份与众不同的.
如何与众不同?
答案是在不越轨的前提下,把别人写的最多的地方减少字数并精炼化,在别人提的相对少的地方加强语气. 再具体地说就是咬文嚼字. 在单词上花功夫.
(我的词汇量实在有限,那两天查字典的次数顶我这几年学英语总和的n倍,并且n是正整数.)
现在我们开始落实地分析一下现状: 如果你的英文是IELTS 8 分以下,请你别用过分NB单词和句子,因为这样Admission Tutor 会觉得你太夸张了,英国人喜欢诚实. 再说,如果你有Interview,前后者太不相称会很不利的. 由于我没达到8分, 我就把自己的PS拿出来分析研究. 太多人喜欢用 fascinating 这词来形容自己对学科的兴趣,这也是我们的优势. 如果你换个词,你就在有意无意中开始与众不同了.
QUOTE:
Computing has been a large part of my life, and in some ways has shaped the person that I am
today. Throughout my childhood I was immersed in technology and software, and as a result I
gained a great deal of knowledge and an insight into how computer systems work. My early
enthusiasm has not dwindled, and I continue to make discoveries every day. I wish to study
Computing further because I realise that I have only just begun to scratch the surface of
this vast and exciting field.
这是我的开头,比较朴实无华,但又有几个词点缀一下,因此在感情上没有比用了那些华丽组句占下风.
第三,我们在中国受了多年教育,在语言和全面性上略占下风. 然而,我们却可以利用这点创造更多优势,让我们更加与众不同. 在我作分析前,请仔细体会一下我的描写风格.
QUOTE:
Having lived in China for fifteen years, I witnessed the substantial rise in importance in computing, and it didn’t take me long to realise that the British Universities are among the world’s top computer science institutions. As soon as I completed the secondary education in China I moved to the UK with one goal in mind, be a top computer engineer. Due to the natural difference between Chinese and English the language barrier had been the most difficult obstacle during my first year in the country and therefore,[b:7011c20595] I put a huge amount of effort into improving my command of English and achieved a band score of 8 in the speaking test of IELTS. I decided to take Maths, Further Maths, Computer Science and Economics at A-Level because I was convinced that while Computing is a maths oriented subject Economics study would broaden my horizon.
别人知道中国人数学NB,所以在这里再次强调一下,把自己在花英语的时间上在夸张一下,这样能为你没考好的学科做间接解释以及对终考差一点分的可能性做准备,因为如果不差太远,大学会再次审阅你的PS. 由于中国的发展变化,不管你学什么科,都可以把中西方差别提出来,一是为了表明你学这科为了提高中国的不足,用事实明确了选科的理由,而不是一而再,再而三的费话.二是为了表名你知道自己将来想做什么,有战略目标. 因而不管你学什么科,一定得利用这个条件发挥想象力!
第四,在描述自己工作经验时,别说一些无法证实的事,多写一点能够拿出证据的.别多扯自己干了多少,把结果写出来,让老师看的心服口服.如果没有,找国内现在就弄份去.但记住,自己一定得精通所提到的.这又是优势,中国弄份奖状等等相对简单的多.还有,一定还得在英国也得有点真本事.
如果你觉得这部分实在没东西写,那就在自己对学科的决心上大做文章,英国人欣赏那份精神.
QUOTE:
My personal journey, beginning with simply clicking on a link on webpage, though becoming an
administrator, to designing both commercial and non-commercial websites, is the achievement I
am most proud of, in particular considering the limited time I have had available. My
personal website clarkzhang.tk was created in both plain text and animated versions, and
received a gold award from goldenwebawards.
At school I participated in activities including sports day, canoeing club and millennium
volunteers' projects in which I helped organising the school's parents evenings and many
other major events. Academically I was awarded with a Mathematics Merit certificate the year
after I arrived in the UK. In 2003, I took part of the Model United Nation debate held in
LSE, and with a limited command of English I represented Botswana and spoke out for the
country in terms of economical development issues in Africa on many occasions.
Outside school I have taught myself the infrastructure of Windows Server 2003 Operating
System, and am now proficient at implementing and troubleshooting any small server-based
network. After some intensive study during this summer vocation, I am ready to take my
Microsoft Certified System Engineer exams before the end of my A levels.
My experience with computers was further enhanced when I joined UK's largest wire accessories
firms (EASE Limited) as Network Administrator Assistant for their European HQ. This meant
responsibility for a company with over 20 customers across UK, France, Germany, Finland,
Italy and Poland, and 18 office staff. In a very competitive field, I managed to get the
company's main products constantly listed in the top 10 positions on google.com by raising
its website traffic from 8000 to nearly 10000 hits per month, which naturally increased the
annual online sales considerably.
我把工作经验和实践精简了再精简.大家体会一下.总之,简练可信第一,Admission Tutor一天要看很多篇,当他看见类似文章时,就会一带而过,写了也白写.换种手法会赢得截然不同的效果-写结果,要给上级作报告,而不是一份推荐信.
第五,结尾来个画龙点睛.博得Admission Tutor再次欢心.把英国学俯夸奖一便.一般检阅PS的人都有一定资格,也就是说他们年龄对自己英国国家文化有一定虚荣心,再加上美国近几年把英国甩在后面,你把大学再抬高一点,也表示你为什么来英国读书的原因.你在Interview上也有话可说.
QUOTE:
It is my belief that the experiences I have had in both countries would enable me to achieve my goal at a more realistic manner studying at a world’s top institution.
我写的这话和前面and it didn’t take me long to realise that the British Universities are among the world’s top computer science institutions.有前后相应的. 值得一提的是,别以第一人称I开头那样主观感太强.
最后,在开始写时,你应该写得很多,然后再缩短和提炼.别省了前者. 写完了后,给几个英国同学检查语法,再给几个老师修改.在有意见冲突时,取其中间量.当给5人以上修改过后,自己平衡一下.再给几为不认识的中年人看一边,如果你取了几个老师学生的中间量,你会发现后面几人对你的PS得以充分肯定. 你也许是为很自信的人,也许是位成绩很好的同学,但是,请你在这次,听一下大众意见.因为我认识不少考了AAAA连offer都没拿到的人.
